I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
