I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
