i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
