FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
