this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
