So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
