Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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