'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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