You made me cry and you don't even care
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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