Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am naked and annoyed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
