So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
