also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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