She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
