smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
