i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
