is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
