Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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