The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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