Your dad touched me again.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
