I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
