How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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