your room smells of hookers.
And success
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
