So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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