If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
