I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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