We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
