y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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