1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
