well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
