he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
