so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
