I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Im part way to drunk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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