hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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