Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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