I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
