He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
