dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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