Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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