Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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