Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
