wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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