Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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