Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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