how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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