You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
