Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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