it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
