We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
