Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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