so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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